The WoT Musical
by Traitors Daughter
Summary: Basically... well... a Musical... Wheel of Time style... Chapter 4 finally dragged up kicking and screaming...
1. Open Curtains

**Disclaimer: If I said I owned Robert Jordan's work, would you believe me? No. You would have me locked up in a nice warm cell…. In fact… yes, Lock me up. It is too damn cold here. **

**In answer to the future question... are you insane? I give this answer. I don't know... Yet. Problem solved. **

**He he. Please review. I thank Saldaen farmgirl for this idea. I was reading some of her fanfic and some mentioned singing. So, my crazily illogical mind came up with… da-da-daaar. The wheel of Time Musical.**

**o-o-o-o-o**

As Rand and his father entered Edmonds field they could sense the excitement, the wives gossiping while they cleaned copious amounts of dirt from rugs and carpets. Many waved as the al'Thors passed, but this only made Tam walk faster. He had no inclination to being dragged into a marriage with some goodwives lately bereaved sister-in-law. That was one topic sure to come up. He had no wife.

Glancing at the happy boy at his solder he smiled, soon he would marry. Then he would have a daughter -in-law and grandchildren to worry about. But Egwene would make him a good wife. They would be happy together, and they would make a joyous family in their cottage in the Westwood. There had been no women there for far to long.

Egwene rushed out of the Inn and threw her arms around Rand's neck. "Rand… I have no one to dance with tonight.. . it is sooo bad… what ever will I do?" Her melodramatic act made Tam smile, so what if she were a bit of a drama queen. What other fool would take his son? "It would be better to stay home than go alone…" her rhyming only made Rand more puzzled. "Oh Rand.."

Rand was blushing furiously, " Why… why don't you go with Perrin?" He was talking into his collar, head down facing the floor. "Or, I could… I could … I could… Unload this..." Egwene stomped solidly on his foot ad frowned at him. Raising her knee ever so slightly, Rand noticed the threat. "I will go with you… that is if you want?"

"Oh Rand! Thank you! You are my white knight, my saviour, my… my… my…er yes. Bye Rand. She skipped of in the direction of the Wisdoms house, pausing only to smell some lovely flower and hum. Mat ran up to the gawping Rand and tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to jump.

"Oi! Rand. Er, greetings and salutations Master al'Thor, there are strangers in the village… see there…. Look!" Rand turned to face the approaching pair. One was a noble looking lady and the other a grumpy old man. The grumpy old man had a sword at his hip and a face like a brick wall. Grumpy. The Lady smiled, she was lovely, even Tam had to admit that was true. "Your village is truly lovely Master"

Her voice was so musical; Tam felt the need for a song. "Master al'Thor my Lady.. and Whhoooo are you..who…. who? Sorry my lady, that just slipped out… sorry" Suddenly a glee man fell from the roof of the inn, harp in hand he began to play. The goodwives arranged them selves in front of the inn. The tune was catchy and Tam began to tap his feet bfore blurting out again "_Who are you? Who, who, who, who?" _The good wives continued dancing and Daise, Alsbet and Marin ran to the front to do the backing vocals… Tam gave it all he had…

"_Who are you?  
Who, who, who, who?  
Who are you?  
Who, who, who, who?  
Who are you?  
Who, who, who, who? _

I woke up in a Illian doorway  
A soldier knew my name  
He said "You can go sleep at home tonight  
If you can get up and walk away"

I staggered back to the travel inn  
And the breeze blew back my hair  
Well, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)  
I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)  
Tell me, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)  
'Cause I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)

I took the gateway out of town  
Back to the Winespring Inn  
I felt a little like a dying clown  
With a streak of Rin Tin Tin

I stretched back and I hiccupped  
And looked back on my busy day  
Eleven hours in the Tin Pan  
God, there's got to be another way

Who are you?  
Ooh wa ooh wa ooh wa ooh wa ...

Who are you?  
Who, who, who, who?  
Who are you?  
Who, who, who, who?  
Who are you?  
Who, who, who, who?  
Who are you?  
Who, who, who, who?"

When the last dancer had finished her spin the gleeman stopped. The two visitors were now thoroughly scared looking. "Erm. I am Lady Moiraine, and this is Lan. Say hello Lan… Lan?" Lan frowned at Moiraine, "Hello Lan." She rolled her eyes considerably. They certainly weren't the most talkative pair. Well, the woman might be but the Grumpy old man wasn't much fun. Probably never spontaneously burst into song in his life, odd man.

"Master Gleeman. May inquire as to your name?" Tams urge to sing was still there, but he could think of a song, or an appropriate one at least. "Thomdril Merrilin." He gave his came more flourishes than a tent would receive during a whirlwind. But at least he plays music for us to sing to. Frowned again, but turned to Rand. "And you are??"

Rand opened his mouth and was about to give his name when... all of sudden the gleeman began to play and Rand sang "I'm just a teenage dirt bag baby…" And it all began to happen again…. The singing the dancing.. it was as if the were being forced to do this by some very cruel sort of god… "Yeaaa…"

"Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby  
Yeah I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby  
Listen to Iron Maiden baby with me

Her boyfriend's a dick  
And he can touch saidin  
And he'd simply kick  
My ass if he knew the truth  
He lives on my block  
And he drives an Trolloc  
But he doesn't know who I am  
And he doesn't give a damn about me

Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby  
Yeah I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby  
Listen to Iron Maiden baby with me

Yeeah dirtbag, no she doesn't know what she's missin  
Yeeah dirtbag, no she doesn't know what she's missin

Man I feel like mold  
It's prom night and I am lonely  
Low and behold  
She's walking over to me  
This must be fake  
My lip starts to shake  
How does she know who I am  
And why does she give a damn about

I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden baby  
Come with me Friday, don't say maybe  
I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby like you

Yeeah dirtbag, no she doesn't know what she's missin  
Yeeah dirtbag, no she doesn't know what she's missin"

Rand nodded to the screaming friends of Egwene, "Thank you, thank you very much.." He blushed and turned to Moiraine. "Rand al'Thor" Moiraine smiled slightly, "It was nice meeting you Rand al'Thor. Thank you for the entertainment. It was… interesting."

**o-o-o-o-o**

**So… What do you think?**

**Please review, I may be insane but I can't bite across the internet. Lol.**

**Any song suggestions? **

**Plot ideas? **

**It will move further away from the original plot later on, but I don't want to do chemistry homework, so I wrote this. Hope you enjoy…**

**REVIEW!!**

**Hayley**

**xxx**


	2. Dance Fever

**Disclaimer: (Dramatically) No! It can not be! The wheel of time, doesn't belong to me…!! NOOOOOOO!!!!! (Faints). Yes, I am crazy. **

**Bring Bring, yep. **

**Read it!**

**Watch out for the Time Warp and please dance along. I did and I was writing the damn thing. Do you have any idea how hard it is do type and do the time warp at the same time with a toffee apple hanging precariously from you teeth. Try it.**

**o-o-o-o-o**

The music started up and DJ Gleeman took his position. Egwene appeared beside Rand momentarily, "Hellio Randy-poo!" Rand jumped and let of a high-pitched girly scream. Everyone turned, pointed and laughed before quickly going back to the dancing. "Oh Randy-poo, I won't be able to come dancing till later now… Nynaeve NEEDS me."

"Erm yer. Ok Egwene. I'm sure she does." Egwene grinned and tip toed off to go practice sniffing at children having fun. Turning to Perrin and Mat he smiled. "Score! I don't have to dance with her now! Ever noticed how odd she smells? I don't suppose she notices with all that sniffing."

Mat began tapping his feet as the song changed. "Rand, it our song…Louder! Gleeman Louder!" As the dance floor cleared the three boys spread themselves out. Hands on Hips, Rand began to mime the first set of lyrics as the gleeman sung them.

_It's astounding, time is fleeting  
Madness takes its toll  
But listen closely, not for very much longer  
I've got to keep control _

I remember doing the Time Warp  
Drinking those moments when  
The blackness would hit me and the void would be calling  
Let's do the time warp again...  
Let's do the time warp again!

Mat and Perrin had joined in as backing singers now, and were following the dance moves. With Mat winking at every girl in the room and Perrin stomping holes through the floor, they sure looked good.

_It's just a jump to the left  
And then a step to the right  
With your hands on your hips  
You bring your knees in tight  
But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane,  
Let's do the Time Warp again! _

It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me  
So you can't see me, no not at all  
In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention  
Well-secluded, I see all  
With a bit of a mind flip  
You're there in the time slip  
And nothing can ever be the same  
You're spaced out on sensation, like you're under sedation  
Let's do the Time Warp again!

Mat began singing in a flat voice, and Rand and Perrin stopped. The backing singing may have stopped, but the dancing continued. Neither love nor money would stop _that_.

_Well I was walking down the street just a-having a think  
When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink  
He shook me up, he took me by surprise  
He had a pickup truck and the devil's eyes.  
He stared at me and I felt a change  
Time meant nothing, never would again  
Let's do the Time Warp again!_

Moiraine just stared as the music stopped miming words such as madness, and void and snake. "Oh, Lady Moiraine, Perhaps you can do something about Master Lan. He won't dance." The gleeman spoke this scandalously. Everyone had to dance. Especially if he was the bard playing. He sped up a tune and called to the crowd. " Make him dance. For the lights sake make him dance!"

Lan stayed put, he had his arms crossed and a frown on his face. Nobody moved to even try make him dance. His face shouted at mortal injury to anyone who should try. The music continued to speed up and became an enrapturing tune. Thom quickly added words, many of the crowd began grabbing partners or tapping feet.

"_Wake up in the morning with a head like 'what ya done?'  
This used to be the life but I don't need another one.  
You like cutting up and carrying on you wear them gowns.  
So how come I feel so lonely when you're up getting down? _

So I'll play along when I hear that special song  
I'm gonna be the one that gets it right.  
You better know when you're swinging round the room  
Look's like the magic's only ours tonight

"He still in't dancing? Why not Master Lan?" Shouted Thom once he finished singing the second verse. Lan frowned harder and opened his mouth to say he just didn't want to but… I just happened. All of a sudden he was singing…

"But I don't feel like dancing  
When the old Gleeman plays  
My heart could take a chance  
But my two feet can't find a way  
You'd think that I could muster up a little soft shoe, gentle sway  
But I don't feel like dancin'  
No sir, no dancin' today.

Don't feel like dancin', dancin'  
Even if i find nothin' better to do  
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'  
Why'd you break it down when I'm not in the mood?  
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'  
I'd Rather be home with the one in the bed till dawn with you."

Moiraine had been standing wide eyed in the corner, but Lan turned to her and she was singing the next verse before she knew it…. A history lesson in a song. Verrrin would be proud of her.

Cities come and cities go just like the old empires  
When all you do is change your clothes and call that versatile.  
You got so many colours make a blind girl so confused.  
So why can't I keep up when you're the only thing I'd lose?

I'll just pretend that I know which way to bend  
I'm gonna tell the whole world that you're mine.  
Please understand, when I see you clap your hands  
If you stick around I'm sure that I'll be fine."

Lan began singing again and Moiraine ran off to go give Thom a lapdance… Other couples were dragged of to the dance floor… including the Blacksmith and his wife who were 'giving it large' so to speak across the floor.

_  
"But I don't feel like dancin'  
When the Gleeman plays  
My heart could take a chance  
But my two feet can't find a way  
You think that I could muster up a little soft shoe gentle sway  
But I don't feel like dancin'  
No sir, no dancin' today. _

Don't feel like dancin', dancin'  
Even if i find nothin' better to do  
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'  
Why'd you break it down when I'm not in the mood?  
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'  
Rather be home with no one if i can't get down with you.

Nynaeve walked in and was just about to yell at Mat, - no reason, just for fun - and Lan grabbed her arm. Soon they were dirty daning in the middle of the Winespring inn. The al'Veres were the first to catch on. Soon the whole room was dirty dancing. Well, all except Moiraine who was still giving Thom his lapdance.

_  
You can't make me dance around.  
But your two-step makes my chest pound.  
Just lay me down  
as you float away into the shimmer lights. _

But I don't feel like dancin'  
When the old Gleeman plays  
My heart could take a chance  
But my two feet can't find a way  
You'd think that I could muster up a little soft shoe gentle sway  
But I don't feel like dancin'  
No sir, no dancin' today.

Don't feel like dancin', dancin'  
Even if i find nothin' better to do  
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'  
Why'd you break down when I'm not in the mood?  
Don't feel like dancin', dancin'  
Rather be home with no one if i can't get down with you.

The dancing finished when every one was exhasted. But as the music quietened, and people began getting up off the chairs ready to walk home, Moiraine screamed and ran out side. Admitted Thom had just tried to put his hand up her skirt but there were more reasons. Reasons that were confirmed when Lan yelled. "Trollocs!!"

"Run for ye lives you salty dogs!" At the shocked looks on the customers faces Lan stopped yelling and traipsed out side after Moiraine. Quickly the whole village was assbled out side watching the shaddows. As the mist rose some dark music started… it was eeriely familiar. Especially to the younger members of the party. Rand began to hum before moiraine 'death-glared' him.

Voices resounded from the shaddows and they had a strange echoing quality, as they came nearer the words could be distinguised..

"_Shackles and Handcuffs and things that restrain you,_

_Thumbscrews and Stretchracks and things that will pain you,_

_Items that Hurt you, and Burn you and Sting,_

_These are a few of my favourite things.._

_Cookpots and pickles and…"_

The screams of the villages could be heard in the Aiel waste, though, the gleeman did have to admit, the trollocs had some good rhyming going on… perhaps a little improvement on the pronouciation and they could be stars… bigger than _Fades Aloud_, bigger than _Warderzone_, and even bigger than _Ogier the Builder_. And, the Ogier would take some beating, he was good…. Very good.

**o-o-o-o-o**

**In answer to your first question - am I insane - the answer is yes. Probably. **

**Please review; the writing does take a lot of coffee and toffee apples, so any reviews will make me so happy, they can have one of my Toffee apples. They are nice. ;).**

**Please send any song requests or ideas to me, or to the pope. I'm sure he'd be very intrested… or perhaps not.**

**REVIEW!**

**PLEASE?**

**PRETTY PLEASE?**


	3. More Spice

**Disclaimer: Ha. Bring on the law suits… **

**I have taken a long time to update this, mainly because there was very few reviews and so it seemed people didn't like it that much. But I decided to update for all those lovely people who did review, so thanks.**

**Lady Maigraith: Yep… that song is now in this chapter. Thanks for the request.**

**Morganofthefairies: It is rather disturbing isn't it… oh well? LOL.**

**Otter Seastar: Of course I'll be nice to them, it could be way more interesting. :P **

**Fyadora Lynn: Hilarious? Thanks!**

**o-o-o-o-o**

Moiraine frown at the three boys, hands on hips and glaring she was quite an imposing sight. Though, from the very large pause since she last spoke she appeared to have forgotten her next words. Lan quickly nudged her in the ribs and muttered under his breath.

"It would be best if you three left Edmonds field. For your own safety and the sanity of the rest of the villagers. I think you are all connected in someway, you make people around you want to sing and dance… we must take you to Tar Valon to investigate this talent."

Mat grinned. "So you want to take us to a tower full of women? HELL YES!" Rand and Perrin where slightly more concerned about the journey, and only consented when Moiraine threatened to pick them up with the power and carry them there. They were just departing when Egwene jumped out from behind a tree.

"Where you going? What you doing? Can I come?" Egwenes braid was full of brightly coloured ribbons and bells, and looked odd in comparison to the boy's sober apparel. Moiraine eyed up the girl and gave her answer quite succinctly. "No," Egwenes eyes welled up with tears… a harp began to play quietly in the background and with a tremulous voice she began to sing…

"_Cause I'm all alone…_

_There's no one here beside me…_

_My problems have all gone…_

_There's no one here to deride me..."_

The voice grew and belted out the last line despite the shhhing motions Moiraine was making in her direction.

"_BUT YOU GOTTA HAVE FRIENDS!"_

"You can come! Just shut Up Egwene! Do you see why we have to take you away yet boys? If anymore of this goes on all your villagers would go insane. Plus I want exclusive rights on your first album… but hey."

The Gleeman jumped down from the loft of the stables and Lan death-glared him for a while. "If the girl is coming, so am I." Moiraine blushed from he memory of her lap dance. After the unexpected Trolloc concert last night she had fled to her rooms in hope of avoiding him. But here he was… Lan flexed his hands as if to strangle him right there before Moiraine stopped him. "He comes."

The rest of the day's journey was pretty leisurely, and beside the campfire they told stories. Mainly of Mats escapades, including one involving pouring flour over some of the dogs in the village and setting them loose. The idea had been to scare another of the younger village boys and it had succeeded. Unfortunately for Mat, the women suspected him, and though they couldn't prove he did it, they made his life rather uncomfortable for him.

Mat was telling the story as if he were the hero, as normal, "And the really funny bit was when Alsbet came running out yelling 'Who let the dogs out?' Hilarious… Who let the dogs out? That's quite catchy really…" Stealing the gleeman's flute he played a quick melody and gestured for the gleeman to continue it, whilst making Rand and Perrin do the backing vocals, Egwene and Moiraine danced raunchily either side of Mat whilst Lan sat in th corner sharpening knives..

"_Who let the dogs out  
(woof, woof, woof, woof)  
(woof, woof, woof, woof)  
(woof, woof, woof, woof)  
(woof, woof, woof, woof)_

_Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)_

_(woof, woof, woof, woof)_

_When the party was nice, the party was jumpin' (Hey, Yippie, Yi, Yo)  
And everybody havin' a ball (Hah, ho, Yippie Yi Yo)  
I tell the fellas "start the name callin'" (Yippie Yi Yo)  
And the girls report to the call  
The poor dog show down_

_Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)_

_I see ya' little speed boat head up our coast  
She really want to skip town  
Get back off me, beast off me  
Get back you flea infested monger_

_Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)_

_I'm gonna tell (Hey, Yippie, Yi, Yo)  
To any girls calling them canine (Yippie, Yi, Yo)  
Tell the dummy "Hey Man, It's part of the Party!" (Yippie Yi, Yo)  
You fetch a women in front and her mans behind (Yippie, Yi, Yo)  
Her bone runs out now_

_Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)_

_Say, A doggy is nuttin' if he don't have a bone _

_All dogy hold ya' bone, all doggy hold it.  
A doggy is nuttin' if he don't have a bone _

_All doggy hold ya' bone, all doggy hold it_

_Wait for y'all my dogs, the party is on  
I gotta get my girl I got my mind on  
Do you see the rays comin' from my eye  
What could you be friend  
That Genji man that's breakin' them down?  
Me and My white cloaks  
And I can't seek a lot, any canine will do  
I'm figurin' that's why they call me faithful  
'Cause I'm the man of the land  
When they see me they doah-ooooo (howl)_

_Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)"_

Moiraine and Egwene fell down from exhaustion; the dancing had got pretty erratic near the end and even Mat looked out of breath. "Well done ladies good dancing. Rand, Perrin that was very good." Quickly Lan stood up and started packing, explaining whilst he did. "Trollocs are following, we must move fast. Something must be driving them to get them to move so quickly."

As the packed up their stuff the approaching band of trollocs moved closer they could make out a woman, bedecked in white leading them. "Lanfear," Rand breathed. Moiraine and Lan looked rather startled. "Ermmm... ex-girlfriend… turned all evil because I said I didn't love her… no she's chasing us with a hell of a lot of trollocs. Perhaps I should go speak with her?"

Lan shook his head first. We can not flee, and there is no better place to make our stand than here. We wait." As the trollocs came closer they formed a ring around the hilltop, but Lanfear carried on walking. Once close, she stood upon a tree stump and smiled, a short little man was following, "Asmodean... play!" As the tune started up the trollocs whipped out thousands of little cigarette lighters and started waving the flames in tune.

Staring directly at Rand she shut her eyes and began to sing, the farm boy felt his face redden and Egwene crossed her arms behind his back.

"_Look into my eyes - you will see  
What you mean to me  
Search your heart - search your soul  
And when you find me there you'll search no more _

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for  
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for  
You know it's true  
Everything I do - I do it for you

Look into your heart - you will find  
There's nothin' there to hide  
Take me as I am - take my life  
I would give it all - I would sacrifice

Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for  
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more  
Ya know it's true  
Everything I do - I do it for you

There's no love - like your love  
And no other - could give more love  
There's nowhere - unless you're there  
All the time - all the way

Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for  
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more  
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you  
Walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you

Ya know it's true  
Everything I do - I do it for you"

Once the song finished she slowly opened her eyes and took a bow… unfortunately, the only people left in her audience where the trollocs. Her Randy had fled, along with the others. She was not impressed, quickly she wove a gateway to the rest of the spice-girls.

Lanfear was of course, better known as Nightmare Spice. Moghedien was Poison Spice. Mesaana was Corruption Spice. Semirhage was Torture Spice and Graendal was Liar Spice. Together they made up the Spice girls they weren't as popular as their male counter parts 'Take This'… neither were brilliant but with the Dark Ones coaching they would be better than those Fades and those Warders… and that dumb Ogier.

They would rule the world!

**o-o-o-o-o**

**Well… I have finally updated. Please show your vast… or not so vast appreciation for this wonderful "cough" masterpiece by reviewing. Pretty please?**

**And if you don't review and I never update again…Thanks for reading this far.**

**Have a great 2007,**

**Hayley**

**xxxx**


	4. Sing City

**Disclaimer: Nope. The Wheel of time series belongs to Robert Jordan, and although the songs aren't mine I have tinkered with them…slightly… but I seriously doubt Robert Jordan would ever subject his characters to the degrading embarrassment I do. Proud.**

**Dedication: Hmm… have dedicated this one to my charming reviewers below. Thanks for your lovely reviews and they really do cheer you up. So thanks.**

**Rabid Lawn Gnome : You truly do have the best name ever. Lol. And Thanks for your review! I really hope I can do every book! Would be great! Though I might run out of songs… oh well.**

**Otter Seastar: Thanks. And another thanks for you song request. As soon as I can get tinkers into the story it will be used! Probably next chapter or the one after that…**

**Mask 1: Hahha… Neither did I! I have no idea where this insanity is coming from!**

**Lyre (anon): Thanks. :D**

**part-time ghost (anon) : Thanks. I hope I won't stop updating… as longs as I have plenty of crazy ideas the chapter will eventually be updated.**

**o-o-o-o-o**

The boys had just put their feet down and were resting in the inn when it happened. Of all the people Lan had expected to come after the boys, Nynaeve wasn't among them. _The wisdom should have stayed home. But my oh my she does have a lovely bum._

Nynaeve raised an eyebrow towards him as if he had spoken out loud before heading up to the microphone in the corner of the inn. Baelron being a city obsessed with song it a mics on very corner, in fact the travellers had got themselves involved into many different songs since they arrived. The dancing was just exhausting. Lan was beginning to wonder how Nynaeve had followed them when she burst into song…

"_I made it through the wilderness  
Somehow I made it through  
Didn't know how lost I was  
Until I found you!!!"_

The locals were obviously used to this sort of behaviour and quickly cleared away the chairs and before the next verse had even begun the gleeman had been dragged up, harp in hand. The lads hearing the singing ran through from the private dining room Moiraine had booked the use of. Their jaws dropped to the floor when they saw the singer… The Wisdom.

"_I was beat incomplete  
I'd been had, I was sad and blue  
But you made me feel  
Yeah, you made me feel  
Shiny and new."_

As each verse ended th boys jaws appeared to drop closer and closer towards the red tile floor, and as the last resounding line was sang Perrin looked on the verge of fainting and even amt had gone pale. The Wisdom didn't sing. Never. Not even happy birthday, or Christmas carols.

"_I MADE IT THROUGH THE WILDERNESS!"_

As the wisdom curtsied and smile to her onlookers Moiraine ran out of the dining room. Daggers for eyes she gripped the wisdoms braid and pulled her kicking and screaming towards the dining room. Lan quickly decided form the feeling coming from the bond that he would not go in there for love nor money.

One of the boys let out a bloody curdling girly scream and Lan turned. Sword already in hand. Rand was standing on a stool waving his fathers sword around in front of his face. Seeing Lan watching, the Shepard's quickly vacated the stool. Putting on a gruff voice he quickly moved to deny th accusation in the warders eyes. "It wasn't just a mouse… there was a fade as well… I think… well… the mouse distracted me… AHH… don't hurt me!"

Lan rolled his eyes. He began an admonishing speech but out of the corner of his eye he say a fades cloak and turned. Before Lan could remove his sword again two things happened in quick succession. The first was the Rand began shaking on his stool and had covered his face with his hands but the other was much scarier. The fade only spoke five words, but hose five words were truly terrifying and incredibly tacky and commercialised. "Big Bother is watching you!"

As the Myradraal began to fade into the shadows Rand began to scream. "Big Bother!!! Nooo… He already lives in my dreams. The rat. I WANT MY MUMMY!" Lan backslapped Rand with the back of his hand, causing him to fall sharply from the chair, before he marched off to inform Moiraine and began repacking her stuff and generally acting as some sort of slave for her.

As the bunch of weary travellers marched ever closer towards the gate Perrin looked back, _the inn is one fire! _As Perrin stated such four white cloaks sauntered out from the shadows. "Well now. Dark friends have just been heard admitting to the fact the burnt down an inn. It looks like we shall have to take them in fro….questioning…" Perrin didn't like the shifty look in the white cloaks eyes when he mentioned questioning. He could guess the methods the men proposed to 'question' with.

Lan quickly started into song, without even allowing time for the gleeman to remove his harp. But the sound of exploding barrels made and interesting contrast to his voice as he proclaimed their innocence. They all started hand jiving whilst in on horseback behind him. Well, all except Thom who was still death glaring Lans back.

"_We didn't start the fire  
It was always burning  
since the worlds been turning  
we didn't start the fire.."_

The white cloak leader nodded harshly at this. "To clarify then you didn't start the fire? Did you know how it started? Was it dark friends? Do you know who they are? Can we question them?" The white cloak sounded like an excited schoolboy as Lan sung back the answers. The leader frowned. "So your sure you didn't start it?" Lan response was finally accompanied by th harp, Thom had at last managed to remove it from his saddlebags.

"No we didn't light it! _But we tried to fight it! _

_No, We didn't start the fire  
but when we are gone  
will it still burn on, and on, and on, and on..."_

The white cloaks nodded and swiftly walked away towards the burning inn, satisfied that all methods had been used to get information out of that man and his companions.

Outside the gates Moiraine and her mare began trotting towards the open land to the left. The boys followed like sheep whereas the ladies hung back, well aware that there was a perfectly good road running all the way to White Bridge. But eventually with a lot of sniffing from hay fever infested noses the followed.

Moiraine was lost pretty quickly, before and of the men could interrupt she had her A to Z of Andor out of her bags. Dismounting she unfolded it across the floor. "We are searching for Aridhol." Lan and Thom gasped at started talking behind their hands to each other. The them being so secretive and hard to hear behind their hands the country folk were all left confused. But, nether the less they searched. In fact they searched so hard that at least seven fists of trollocs had surrounded them before any of them noticed.

"Perrin was that you! You don't just fart then say nothing!" Mat appeared to all intents an purposes to be choking which was lucky for Egwene who used the time while everyone was wafting their noses to calm her relieve covered face. Moiraine got up from the floor as the smell was overpowering. The trollocs just watched. Approaching the closest she waved the map in front of his face. "Is this the was to Aridhol?"

Thom seized his moment and quickly grasped his harp. Strumming a base line he threw the flute towards Rand…

"_When the day is dawning,  
On a Andor Early Morning  
How I long to be there  
With Mordeth who's waiting for me there  
Every lonely city  
Where I hang my hat  
Aint as half as pretty,  
As where my baby's at _

Is this the way to Aridhol?  
Every night I've been hugging my pillow  
Dreaming dreams of Aridhol  
And sweet Mordeth who waits for me  
Show me the way to Aridhol  
I've been weeping like a willow  
Crying over Aridhol  
And sweet Mordeth who waits for me

The trollocs took this extra moment to add their own echo to the tune, "Sha la la la la la la" Brilliant! Better than anything on top of the mops! If only it could be recorded without a fight breaking out….

"_Sha la la la la la la_

_Sha la la la la la la_

_Sha la la la la la la  
And Mordeth who waits for me"_

"_There's a church bell ringing  
hear the song of joy that its singing  
For the sweet Mordeth  
And the girl who's coming to see him  
Just beyond the highway  
There's an open plane and it keeps me going  
Through the wind and rain…_

_Is this the way to Aridhol?  
Every night I've been hugging my pillow  
Dreaming dreams of Aridhol  
And sweet Mordeth who waits for me  
Show me the way to Aridhol  
I've been weeping like a willow  
Crying over Aridhol and sweet Mordeth who waits for me…"_

"_Sha la la la la la la_

_Sha la la la la la la_

_Sha la la la la la la  
And Mordeth who waits for me…"_

**o-o-o-o-o**

**I am aware of the fact that this is probably one of my least sane chapters but you wait! Aridhol next… Got a lot of treats in store for you there. Muhaahaha…. OK. There will most likely be now random character deaths. But you never know. If I get edgy I might just kill someone off.**

**Well! You know the way to stop me killing your favourite! REVIEW! Lol. Please?**

**Small voice in your head: "press the purdy purple button, go on, you know you want to. Go on…"**


End file.
